COMMON THREATS IN DISSOLUTION PROCEEDINGS

We have found that over a period of time many statements will be made to play the "game" of psychological warfare which sometimes accompanies divorce. The following are things which you may hear, explanations of them and how they fit in context with the dissolution proceeding.

"I will tell that "X", and you will never get the children." "X" can be that you are having an affair; that you are seeing an analyst; having an additional glass of wine per day; or any of a thousand things. Chances are "X" has little or nothing to do with the best interests of the children and will be disregarded in planning the children's future.

"Your attorney is a dud, or out to get our money, or why don't we use one attorney and save money, or your attorney is really partial to me, etc., etc."
These are divide and conquer tactics. If there is a way to save legal costs, we are also looking for it and will discuss it with our clients.

"Unless you play my way, you'll never get a dime."
The threatener is accustomed to being the authority figure. That is no longer the case. The property will be divided between you. Child support will be awarded, most likely in accordance with the statewide guidelines.

"Why are you trying to take my money? (my pension, my children, etc.)"
The answer is that you are entitled to your share of the marital property.

"I'll go to jail before I'll pay you a dime."
So be it. There are various ways to enforce support obligations through income withholding or levy of execution for example. Jail is the remedy for contempt and it is rarely necessary to go that far.

"I'll quit my job before I'll pay you that kind of money."
Write down the place and date where the statement was made. Try to get a witness to the statement. Intentional malingering is not acceptable to the courts.

"When the judge sees my expenses, he will award less (more) than the support from the schedule."
This is not true. Support is based primarily on income.

"You'll never see the kids again."
There are strong laws prohibiting childnapping. A parent who attempts to move away in order to prevent visitation risks negative results with the courts. Even if the Court permits removal, it may order longer periods of visitation and consider additional travel expense. Failure to allow visitation may result in a custody change from one parent to the other.

"If you don't do things my way, the judge will order that we sell everything."
The Court will not order the sale of an asset unless there is a good economic reason for it. The court will generally do all or a combination of the following:

If you are being pressured with these kinds of comments and threats, keep a running diary with dates, places, occasions and summaries of conversations occurring. (Do not tape record a conversation without consent; it can be a felony with a heavy fine!) Don't phone your attorney every time a verbal threat comes in. Our purpose is to show a pattern of threats. The best response is to ignore them. Go forward and attempt to reach a reasonable resolution of your case. Fear for your physical safety or the safety of your child should be called in immediately.