JOINT CUSTODY/JOINT PARENTING

If you are going to consider joint parenting, you should consider the following issues. A resolution of each of these issues should appear possible. Some of them would be reflected in the decree/property settlement.

I. Plans for residence and access should be fully expressed.

A. Who is the residential parent. If it is to be a shared residence, the schedule must be expressed.

B. Visitation/access should be clearly expressed.

1. Use of vague terms such as reasonable or liberal are all but unenforceable.

2. In families in which work schedules vary, a minimum standard of contact should be expressed such as no less than one (1) overnight per weekend.

3. Plans for holidays and school vacations should be expressed including the process of determining vacation periods, such as notice to be given by May 1 of each year.

4. Any shared goals and limits should be expressed. For example, the parents both want the children to spend as much time at camp as is possible.

II. Plans for Education.

A. Choices of school or educational systems should be clearly expressed.

B. Private school plans should include plans for payment.

C. The parents should express their philosophy regarding the selection of and payment for post-high school education, if any. This can include directions to the children for their contributions, standards of performance and permitted extracurricular activities and expenses.

D. Regarding non-academic activities or out of school instruction, the parent should express philosophies, goals, plans for payment and the contribution by and standards for the child.

E. Goals for parents' access to records, calendars and other school and activity information should be articulated.

III. Religion.

A. The plan for religious training and/or worship should be stated.

B. The parents should plan which of them will be responsible for what elements of religious upbringing.

C. The celebration of holidays or events associated with religious beliefs should be anticipated and a schedule or philosophy of scheduling expressed.

IV. Medical Treatment.

A. Your philosophy regarding treatment should be expressed.

B. Considering the nature of insurance coverage, i.e. HMO, private insurance, can you state a policy with regard to treatment and cost economy?

C. Do the children have health problems or do the parents share a risk avoidance philosophy that can lead to shared and articulated cautions?

D. What is the plan for emergency decision making especially if one or both of you are not available?

V. Child Care.

A. Who will be the normal or preferred caretakers for the children?

B. Do you share a right of first refusal policy in which your spouse is the first to be asked when child care is sought?

C. Articulate any shared standards or values about caretakers or preschool settings.

VI. Substitution/Change of Plans.

A. Articulate any philosophy which you share about the justification for or process of making changes and plans to be with the children.

B. Establish the process for notifying, discussing and recording changes of plans. For example, you may request, accept and record changes on a "change contract" form prepared in advance and available to you both.

C. Preplan the means by which missed contacts are made up.

D. Preplan for consequence of miscontacts without prior arrangement. For example, "parent who missed pays cost of sitter for parent who would have been free to leave" or "parent who missed picks up and drops off next month".

E. Preplan a grievance procedure or a compromise in the event of a disagreement over the "missed" period.

VII. Modification of Agreement.

A. Articulate any philosophy which supports future modification of the agreement. For instance, you should agree to modify the agreement to remain consistent with the child(ren)'s school schedule or to support the child(ren)'s health.

B. Preplan a process of notification discussion and recording of modifications.

C. Preplan the process and third persons to be employed in resolving disputes that may arise during modification procedures.

D. Preplan for recording modifications of the agreement with the court if necessary.

VIII. Review.

A. Acknowledging that changes are likely if only because of the child(ren)'s growth and development can inspire you to plan for regularly scheduled reviews of this plan.

B. The process of review should be planned in advance.

1. Who participates, who does not.

2. Will the child(ren) review their parents' agreements.

3. Will the child(ren) offer input for review.

4. Will the child(ren) participate.

5. Where and when will the review take place.

C. Preplan the follow-up of review sessions, for example:

1. What level of discord or disagreement goes to dispute resolution.

2. How will a modification be recorded.

3. Who will be employed to assist in the modification and who will pay for that employed individual.

4. To what lawyer will court level modifications be taken and who will pay for that lawyer.

5. Preplan any follow-up meetings with the children.

IX. Dispute Resolution in General.

A. What kind of disagreements will be resolved by the chosen process? Modifications? Change of Plans? Complaints about noncompliance (before going to court)?

B. What process do the parties select for dispute resolution? Mediation? Counseling? Arbitration? Consultation with wise person?

C. Who will the parties employ to facilitate the chosen process? Or how will they select that person or person(s)?

D. Preplan, if possible, how costs will be paid. For example: "Parent seeking dispute resolution pays two-thirds of the cost" or "parents share equally."

E. You may anticipate the cost of litigation made necessary by unsuccessful dispute resolution and may plan in advance as to how those costs will be paid.